I Cannot See My Reflection

Every time I look in a mirror or see myself in a reflection, I smile.

No, it is not because I am in love with my looks.
I judge myself for every small self-defined imperfection.
Whether that be my Pinnochio length nose
Or thin lips
Or puffy cheeks
Or inconsistent eyebrows
Or pimples that never seem to go away
Or eyes that are not the same size

Whatever it is that day, I still try and smile.

Every mirror will reflect me in a certain perspective—true or not, distorting certain features depending on the glass, glare, angle, or frankly, my mood.

These mirrors will try and suggest an ounce of what I may be, but capture after capture, none of them define me.

The photos, mirrors, videos, will never truly show me what my physical me actually is. I will always be in distortion no matter where I look. No matter how hard I try looking to find myself externally, I will never be happy until I find myself internally.

The only people to truly see me, my physical me, fortunately or not will never be me. So, the strongest way for me to find solace is to create my own reflection— to allow my actions to mirror what I expect of myself— to be fulfilled by just that.

When I look into a mirror, I don’t just smile because of what I see. Rather, I smile because I am proud that I can just appreciate who I am, being me.

I wish you all the same appreciation to enjoy the you that is not confined to only the sense of sight (we have more sense than that).